As parents, we want to give them the world, the universe and everything in-between. Due to this, it’s often hard to say no to them. We want them to be happy and always satisfied–but this can often lead to a child becoming a spoiled teen. Learning to teach your teen coping skills when they don’t necessarily get what they want will not only help them excel in life, but will transform them from a spoiled teen into a young adult. CNN recently published an article discussing the ways you can help your spoiled teen grow and develop into a responsible teen.
Wanting More vs. Needing More
Everyone wants more, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing. There’s a healthy amount that’s needed to find motivation to work towards achievements and goals; but there’s a dark side of wanting. When a teen becomes argumentative and irrational when they don’t get what they want, that’s an issue.
A spoiled teen leads to an adult who can’t manage money, keep jobs, or reach their full potential. Many parents deal with having a spoiled teen, it doesn’t mean you have failed as a parent. What it does mean is that you have to make a choice: help your child thrive by teaching them to develop a sense of responsibility and coping skills or give them everything they want and watch them struggle in the real world. It’s hard, it’s uncomfortable, but it’s about having your teens best interests at heart.
Recognizing boundaries is often difficult for a spoiled teen. They have a hard time seeing that it’s not okay to throw a tantrum in Target because their mother won’t buy them the shoes they want. This is frequently due to a lack of structured rules or a lack of enforcement of standing rules. To change this, create rules, make them clear, and start enforcing them. Yes, it’ll be a shock at first, it’ll take some adjusting, but eventually your teen will get become accustomed to it and begin to understand the boundaries of the real world.
Teach Them Tradeoffs
The adult world is full of tradeoffs. Buy a new car or save that money for retirement? Spend extra money for organic or use that towards gas? Spend money on that expensive dress you want or go out to a nice dinner with your friends? These are questions we all face in daily life and to prepare your child for that, you have to give them the coping capabilities and skills to make their own decisions.
If you regularly give your teen money that they ask for, maybe it’s time to start limiting it. Instead of giving them whatever amount they need whenever they need it, give them a set amount at the beginning of each month. If they run out, they need to learn to spend it more wisely. If they don’t have enough, maybe they need to save for a couple of months to reach their goal. This teaches them skills they need in the adult world.
For more information about helping your spoiled teen, BlueFIre Wilderness can help.